I am writing you today as an upset wife on the verge of divorcing my husband. I am sure when most people read this statement, they assume I have used spy software on my spouse and caught him cheating... However, this is not the case. In fact, I am a victim of husband who has unjustly used this type of software against me without my knowledge and without cause. In fact, I have come to find out my husband has been secretly monitoring me for almost 2 years!
When I had found out about this, though I had kind of suspected for a while, my husband claims he is just very insecure and doesn't want to lose me. I understand some people are insecure and need confirmation but think logically for once. What has lead you to believe your spouse is cheating? Do they have the opportunity to cheat time wise? Well, my husband is around me 24 hours a day, considering he works from home and I do not work. I also never go anywhere without him and vice-versa. If your situation is similar spare your loved on the betrayal and do not spy on them.
For a while, I had been finding key-loggers on my computer. When I would ask my husband about it, he would tell me I probably caught some spyware from typical internet usage. I believed him initially until I became very cautious of internet adware and spyware, but yet, still kept finding these programs yet each time, the setup became more elabortate.
Under this suspicion, my husband was spying, I felt my husband was just insecure, so I stopped talking to all of my friends. Friends I have even had since childhood. No one could understand why I dropped off the face of the earth. The only people I still would talk to was my husband and my mother. I also sold my vehicle so my husband wouldn't be insecure I was sneaking out at night. I also gave up any goals of going to school or working because of my husbands insecurity. Doing these things made me become very isolated and depressed.
Even after taking all of these measures, my computer and my phone were still being compromised. Of course my husband still denied anything.
Well, one night when I was unable to sleep, I noticed my husband left his email account signed in on his computer. I got brave and I decided to go through it. Well, this is where my suspicions of being monitored was confirmed. Not only that, I found out my husband has been at this for 2 years and has spent over a $1,000 on numerous spy programs and hardware. I also learned my laptop which was a christmas gift, has a hardware keylogger installed. I found tons and of logs of all of my computer activity, past emails and IMs I wrote to friends and family, and logs of my phone activity. Of course Flexispy was just one of the many things he used.
I feel sad, hurt, violated, and confused. I am currently considering moving back with my mother (it is the only place I can go since I no longer has any friends and I have not worked because of my husband's insecurity) and getting a divorce. Think long and hard before you do this to your loved one as when they find out, they will feel betrayed. Make sure your suspicions are valid and that it is not just your mind obsessing for no reason. A side from this, cyber spying on anyone other than your children without their knowledge IS ILLEGAL in many places!
If your relationship is failing, programs like this will only make it worse. If your spouse is cheating, catching them in the act makes things worse, not better. If your spouse is cheating just break up, divorce, or speak counselling. If you have no valid reason to think your spouse is cheating, spying will only make them leave you once they catch you... But I guess in the obsessed mind, it is better to be divorced because you were an ass than to be cheated on!
- a_g1356, pypeMayobby, Impernsmend and 52 others like this