12 replies to this topic

[a_g1356]

Hello,

I am writing you today as an upset wife on the verge of divorcing my husband. I am sure when most people read this statement, they assume I have used spy software on my spouse and caught him cheating... However, this is not the case. In fact, I am a victim of husband who has unjustly used this type of software against me without my knowledge and without cause. In fact, I have come to find out my husband has been secretly monitoring me for almost 2 years!

When I had found out about this, though I had kind of suspected for a while, my husband claims he is just very insecure and doesn't want to lose me. I understand some people are insecure and need confirmation but think logically for once. What has lead you to believe your spouse is cheating? Do they have the opportunity to cheat time wise? Well, my husband is around me 24 hours a day, considering he works from home and I do not work. I also never go anywhere without him and vice-versa. If your situation is similar spare your loved on the betrayal and do not spy on them.

For a while, I had been finding key-loggers on my computer. When I would ask my husband about it, he would tell me I probably caught some spyware from typical internet usage. I believed him initially until I became very cautious of internet adware and spyware, but yet, still kept finding these programs yet each time, the setup became more elabortate.

Under this suspicion, my husband was spying, I felt my husband was just insecure, so I stopped talking to all of my friends. Friends I have even had since childhood. No one could understand why I dropped off the face of the earth. The only people I still would talk to was my husband and my mother. I also sold my vehicle so my husband wouldn't be insecure I was sneaking out at night. I also gave up any goals of going to school or working because of my husbands insecurity. Doing these things made me become very isolated and depressed.

Even after taking all of these measures, my computer and my phone were still being compromised. Of course my husband still denied anything.

Well, one night when I was unable to sleep, I noticed my husband left his email account signed in on his computer. I got brave and I decided to go through it. Well, this is where my suspicions of being monitored was confirmed. Not only that, I found out my husband has been at this for 2 years and has spent over a $1,000 on numerous spy programs and hardware. I also learned my laptop which was a christmas gift, has a hardware keylogger installed. I found tons and of logs of all of my computer activity, past emails and IMs I wrote to friends and family, and logs of my phone activity. Of course Flexispy was just one of the many things he used.

I feel sad, hurt, violated, and confused. I am currently considering moving back with my mother (it is the only place I can go since I no longer has any friends and I have not worked because of my husband's insecurity) and getting a divorce. Think long and hard before you do this to your loved one as when they find out, they will feel betrayed. Make sure your suspicions are valid and that it is not just your mind obsessing for no reason. A side from this, cyber spying on anyone other than your children without their knowledge IS ILLEGAL in many places!

If your relationship is failing, programs like this will only make it worse. If your spouse is cheating, catching them in the act makes things worse, not better. If your spouse is cheating just break up, divorce, or speak counselling. If you have no valid reason to think your spouse is cheating, spying will only make them leave you once they catch you... But I guess in the obsessed mind, it is better to be divorced because you were an ass than to be cheated on!

[layan]

In your case, understood, that you are out of cheating. What if husband noticing wife cheating and he needs credible evidence to prove it in the case of divorce.

Cheating partner always doing it smart and difficult to get enough evidence for other partners safety.

What is then??

[Ian]

Thanks for bringing this to our attention and sharing your experiences.

[a_g1356]

Iayan,

It sucks to be cheated on. I know how it is. I was in the military for a while and my pervious husband cheated on me, with not one, but 5 different women. What was funny is that really it was dumb luck that I caught him in these instances. Like one time, I was driving down the road in a suburb a few miles from where my home was. Well, I saw his car in the parking lot of this hotel. My ex has a very distinctive car. So just for grins, I drove in the parking lot and decided to take a stroll through the hotel. Well, it was just dumb luck, him and his little girlfriend had the door open to exhaust the room because they were smoking cigarettes. LOL I can laugh about it now but, boy, it was not funny at the time. Thank god I am not married to that creep anymore, but unfortunately, it appears I have married a new creep who unjustly spies on me.

As far as divorce goes, I would not advise using spy programs for a possible divorce case. Think about it, in many areas using technology like this on a device that is not yours without the informed consent of this person is a crime in many areas, well with the only exception being your children. The law will allow you to spy on your children in most cases....The companies that offer these spy programs know this, which is why they say to know the laws in your area and that THEY WILL turn over information to the authories when they are required to do so for an investigation. Read the disclamers on most of these sites. Thus, your spouse can file criminal charges against you. Chances are if you are divorcing them for their bad behavior, they probably will prosecute you as pay back.

As much as I take moral issue with people using these types of programs, if you do this and get evidence of cheating, do not bring up the fact you used these types of programs in divorce proceedings. Perhaps, one could use the evidence to catch them in the act, then use the actual instance that they caught them in the act as evidence. I feel like a creep for saying that because I really feel using these programs is very dishonest and morally questionable, as two wrongs don't make a right.

Also, if a spouse is spending a lot of time away from you for no just reason, to where you suspect cheating, this is obviously a sign of mistreatment as well. You could divorce them from this reason.

[Ian]

All of our customer agree to a legal disclaimer that the software will only be used in a lawful manner and they will abide by their own country laws. If they neglect to follow this then if they are prosecuted and we are asked to assist with this then we have no choice but to co-operate in the matter as we stated what is required for using our software and through not following that the person who purchased the software broke the law.

[a_g1356]

I am sure they do agree to the legal disclaimer. I bet user must check "I AGREE" before even using the software. However, most people do not read the legal disclaimer and the terms of service for most things online. They generally just blindly agree to it. Further, the few people who do know the law and read the disclaimer, usually do not care about breaking the possible laws in the first place. Legal disclaimers are merely to protect a companies ass... I also find it dishonest that many of the companies that offer this software, know that using it to spy on a spouse with out the spouse permission, know this is illegal in most places but yet go out of their way to market towards jealous spouses anyway! Which perpetrates the myth that this technology is 100% legal for any use one wishes, which is simply not true.

I am very free market and I believe anyone can sell any product they wish, I just want people to know these products can get one into legal trouble and I want the victims of these programs, like me, to be aware of what these programs can do and how sophisticated they are. I also want them to know that they can even prosecute if they wish. When I tell people that my husband was able to intercept calls while I was taking them and that he was able to activate the microphone on my cellphone at any time even while I was not using it, they were shocked and could not believe this technology exist. I would have not believed this technology exist if I was not a victim of it.

Funny thing is my husband claimed this program didn't work correctly though he subscribed, he never used it much for this reason. However, when I threaten to prosecute him and I started vandalizing items in the home that he liked very much, he admitted the technology worked great and he listened in on numerous phone calls of mine without my permission. Of course he is acting like the victim now by claiming he had stopped or was in the process of ending his spying on me because I was guilty of nothing. Though, I believe he is lying because he spied on me for 2 years and all the while I was guilty of nothing, but he still continued his spying and even purchased more technology to facilitate his spying. All of these things came to ahead a little over a week ago. This is when I found out about the dept of his spying activities.

[Ian]

You raise some very valid points. A lot of people believe that software of this nature works exactly as seen in Hollywood movies which just is not true or that the software will do things it never even claims it can do to start with.

I am sorry to hear of your experiences but I am glad that you took the time to share them with us. From a company perspective we do not condone illegal use of our software and if customers neglect to read and act upon our legal disclaimer then unfortunately that is their fault and is nothing to do with us.

[CastingCouples]

This situation seems like a unique one however I'm sure people find this spy program useful more often then not. For those who have used it successfully you might be interested in this..
A very well known major cable network is currently casting a documentary series on infidelity. This series explores the psychology of infidelity. This is NOT a talk show.

Was your story one of "Once a cheater, always a cheater, no way I'll take you back!", or were you able to overcome your initial disappointment, anger, disgust, etc. and find a way past this to save your relationship?

Help others understand different possibilities by considering sharing your story, which ever way it ended up. Email us today at: Castingcouples2012@gmail.com

[Ian]

Thanks for sharing this, it sounds very interesting.

[talon121]

Hello,

I am writing you today as an upset wife on the verge of divorcing my husband. I am sure when most people read this statement, they assume I have used spy software on my spouse and caught him cheating... However, this is not the case. In fact, I am a victim of husband who has unjustly used this type of software against me without my knowledge and without cause. In fact, I have come to find out my husband has been secretly monitoring me for almost 2 years!

When I had found out about this, though I had kind of suspected for a while, my husband claims he is just very insecure and doesn't want to lose me. I understand some people are insecure and need confirmation but think logically for once. What has lead you to believe your spouse is cheating? Do they have the opportunity to cheat time wise? Well, my husband is around me 24 hours a day, considering he works from home and I do not work. I also never go anywhere without him and vice-versa. If your situation is similar spare your loved on the betrayal and do not spy on them.

For a while, I had been finding key-loggers on my computer. When I would ask my husband about it, he would tell me I probably caught some spyware from typical internet usage. I believed him initially until I became very cautious of internet adware and spyware, but yet, still kept finding these programs yet each time, the setup became more elabortate.

Under this suspicion, my husband was spying, I felt my husband was just insecure, so I stopped talking to all of my friends. Friends I have even had since childhood. No one could understand why I dropped off the face of the earth. The only people I still would talk to was my husband and my mother. I also sold my vehicle so my husband wouldn't be insecure I was sneaking out at night. I also gave up any goals of going to school or working because of my husbands insecurity. Doing these things made me become very isolated and depressed.

Even after taking all of these measures, my computer and my phone were still being compromised. Of course my husband still denied anything.

Well, one night when I was unable to sleep, I noticed my husband left his email account signed in on his computer. I got brave and I decided to go through it. Well, this is where my suspicions of being monitored was confirmed. Not only that, I found out my husband has been at this for 2 years and has spent over a $1,000 on numerous spy programs and hardware. I also learned my laptop which was a christmas gift, has a hardware keylogger installed. I found tons and of logs of all of my computer activity, past emails and IMs I wrote to friends and family, and logs of my phone activity. Of course Flexispy was just one of the many things he used.

I feel sad, hurt, violated, and confused. I am currently considering moving back with my mother (it is the only place I can go since I no longer has any friends and I have not worked because of my husband's insecurity) and getting a divorce. Think long and hard before you do this to your loved one as when they find out, they will feel betrayed. Make sure your suspicions are valid and that it is not just your mind obsessing for no reason. A side from this, cyber spying on anyone other than your children without their knowledge IS ILLEGAL in many places!

If your relationship is failing, programs like this will only make it worse. If your spouse is cheating, catching them in the act makes things worse, not better. If your spouse is cheating just break up, divorce, or speak counselling. If you have no valid reason to think your spouse is cheating, spying will only make them leave you once they catch you... But I guess in the obsessed mind, it is better to be divorced because you were an ass than to be cheated on!

I also suggest reporting your cheater on http://cheaterscaughtonline.com .... of course only if your revengeful .... Im sorry you had to experience the sadness....

[Ian]

That is quite an interesting website. Thanks for sharing that with us.

[elyu]

I really feel using these programs is very dishonest and morally questionable, as two wrongs don't make a right.

If your husband informs you that he's spying on you, then you will be very cautious like what you mentioned. What's the point of buying this software if he's gonna inform you?

Your husband has the right to know...

[Ian]

Elyu, you raise a very good point there. Thanks for taking the time to contact us and contribute.